Full stop.....

After 3 years everything end.... Have not been sleeping well this few days, thinking why all this happen. Have done my best to be perfect but i failed. Guess i'm just not good enough for u. Not handsome enough. not smart enough, not slim enough etc etc.... Sick and tired. Told me not to do this and that. Said when i go out with my friend keep forget to call u and sms u. But did u? Look at wat u are doing now drinking with guys? even when i go drinking with my guy friend or go out late u also cannot take it.

Go through all kind of shit together, everytime we will get back but why not now! I don know man. Maybe its me i done something wrong again until she cannot forgive me?? or..............

Ever since we had a big fight last time, u stop asking me how am i, even when i fall sick and had a very bad accident u also don know. It not i never tell u, but u just don bother about me anymore. When u found out about the scare later, u come and scold me for not telling u. Than start to think other things again.

Broke off is not because i want freedom.... I want u do be part of my life not control my whole life. I want to have a soulmate, someone who i can talk too, someone where i know when i share my happinese with u will will be happy also, someone where i meet into trouble or feeling down u will also be there for me not i always be there for u. I maybe a guy but i'm also a human, i keep things to myself is because since young my family brought me up in a wrong way. When i'm into trouble and i tell them, they will just scold me than solve the problem. They never ask me whos fault and wat happen. Parents have change now but not me.

When i first met u, its ur beautiful smile than melt my heart, u dimple at the side of ur face is the one that makes my day until now i still cannot forget the smile. But now, i only see u smile when u are with ur friend not with me anymore.

The first time when we hold hand together, i still remember my hand sweat so much that i have to come out with stupid excuss. Holding hand from day to night 24/7 is no problem for us.. Now not even 5 mins, we will be walking our own way.

When u have problem in the middle of the night with anything, i will go down to ur house to help u solve. I'm sorry that now i did not, one is that sometime i'm too busy with my stuff until i donknow who i am. two is i'm just to lazy and last it because i want u to be more independent. Wat if one day you got to dependent on me and i leave this world faster than u? wat if i'm not around you? wat if this and that.. i have tons of reason.. but i think my way of expressing my feeling to you is wrong until u get the wrong message. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for
-not giving u a wonderful life for the pass 3 years
-never spend time with u
-not by urside when u need me
-keep working
-lies
-and the list go on and only i will know

Guess my wish of holding hand with u until our hair turn white ends here. I always belive LOVE is always about giving ur partner happiness . So i wish u all the best. Love u and always do.
How do i say i love you.......